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Week of Sunday, 12 May 2002 |
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Jeremy, Summer 2001 |
"I will keep his sweetness with me always. Susan Kardos 8th Grade English
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| Subject: Thank You Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 19:01:20 -0500 From: "Wes Preston" To: ewa1@columbia.edu Ernie, Nancy and Geoff, Thank you for including me in Jeremy's service. I was so honored. He was a great friend and training partner. We aerialist are such a tight knit group. I always felt that we were like a family. I feel a great loss. I would say that Jeremy is one of the best all-a-round skiers that I have ever known. He was always pushing us in aerials. I saw him jump this winter and I was extremely impressed. I will miss him tremendously. I will never forget him. I'm thinking of you all, love, Wes |
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| Subject: Jeremy Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 15:51:02 -0400 From: susan_kardos To: ewa1@columbia.edu To Family and Friends of Jeremy April, I was Jeremy's 8th grade English teacher. My former students, even now, often come to me in flashes throughout the day. I remember peculiar things: a student's voice or smile; a student's gait; the way a student raised his or her hand; a laugh; a wax museum costume; a poem. Oddly, I thought of Jeremy a few days before I got the call from Mr. Carson. In my flash-memory of Jeremy, he was sitting on the far side of the 8th grade classroom, near the radiator and the windows. I envisioned some "independent reading" mobiles slowly moving above him and the "hero plaques" off to his right, near the blackboard. The sunlight from the windows cast a large halo around him, and he sat doing a freewrite in his journal, as always, seriously and deliberately. He peered up at me through his hair, and our eyes met. He slowly offered me his signature grin until something off in a corner of the room caught his attention and made him laugh. And that was it. It was a flash, and he was gone. Jeremy will forever be 14 to me. He will forever have piercing, captivating eyes; rough and tumble hair; and early teen-age hands that promise great height. I will always remember his voice. I will always remember his handwriting. I will always remember his sweetness, his earnestness, and his promise. On his own, for the 8th grade poetry recitation, Jeremy came upon a poem by Mark Doty called, "Wreck." I think the poem is about the dying body of Doty's lover. I don't know what about it captured Jeremy's imagination. I think I remember him saying it had something to do with skiing. What I do remember clearly is Jeremy standing up in his jacket and tie and reciting the poem from memory. There was pride and artistry and grace in his recitation, and also a kind of knowing. A kind of transcendence I will never forget. I am privileged to have known Jeremy April...to have spent every day of one school year with him...to have talked to him about literature and poetry...to have watched him express himself in writing and speech...to have watched him play with his friends...eat his lunch...carry his big backpack...slow-dance at the Halloween Dance...graduate 8th grade...graduate high school. I will keep his sweetness with me always. Goodbye, beautiful, dear child.
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| Subject: Jeremy Date: Sun, 12 May 2002 13:01:18 EDT From: anonymous To: ewa1@columbia.edu First of all, I would like to ask you to please leave my email address and my name anonymous if you do choose to post this letter. I have been a part of the Dwight Englewood community for three years. I first noticed Jeremy during my sophomore year, while wandering through the halls of Legget. He was one of those people who weren't easy to miss: always smiling, he glowed. As time went on, I found out more and more about him, about his accomplishments both as a student and as an athlete. More than anything, I heard how much he was loved around my school. Few people are as admired as Jeremy was. After I'd heard all of these wonderful things about him, he became like a hero to me. He was all I wished I could be: optimistic, brilliant, determined and disciplined. Strangely enough I was never lucky enough to speak to him, but his sparkling personality was so obvious to all, that I didn't need to speak to him to admire him. I just assumed he was as happy and confident as he had always seemed to me. I remember that, when I went to his graduation last year, I silently wished him luck in all he would ever do. I somehow knew I would hear about him again: Jeremy was never someone easily forgotten. When I walked into Legget the day after Jeremy died, I found myself wondering why everyone was suddenly so silent and numb. Horrible memories of September 11th flooded through my mind as I slowly asked a friend: "What happened?". She looked at me with a blank expression and said: "Do you remember Jeremy April? He died." I immediately fell into the same stupor that the rest of the school was in, and I remember thinking about Jeremy's family, his brother Geoff, his parents, and Sam. When I found out all the details of what had happened and tried to separate the truth from the rumors, I hid myself in the bathroom and let grief take over. I didn't know Jeremy, but I admired him. I saw him as a hero, someone who could do it all. Having lost my father at a really young age and having gone through depression myself and having contemplated suicide more than once in my life, I know how he must have felt. I know what it feels like to have lost your ground until you don't know where to step so you won't fall deeper and deeper down. I know what it's like to lost faith in the next moment. However, I cannot even begin to understand how Jeremy could have felt that way. Every time I think about it, an endless question resounds in my head: "WHY??" I didn't know whether to write this letter or not. I feel like my knowledge of Jeremy was so vague that I don't really have the right to express my feelings to those who knew him all his life. All i can say now is that his death has changed me incredibly. I try to take life less seriously and try to share my pain with others. I have talked to my family about my grief for the first time in my life. Once again, I have to thank Jeremy. Even now that he's not here his memory is helping get through my own difficulties. In sophomore year his smile gave me determination. Now, his loss gives me courage. Thank you Jeremy, for all that you unknowingly did for me. To Jeremy's family, friends and Sam: someone's death is not something you get over, it's not a problem you can solve. It's an event you
must survive. I hope you find the strength within yourselves and in each other to go on and keep Jeremy's memory alive. I offer my most
sincere condolences: it's all I can give you. |
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| Subject: jeremy Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 17:18:45 -0400 From: Brenda Petzold To: "'ewa1@columbia.edu'" <ewa1@columbia.edu> Dear April Family, When I first heard about Jeremy, I was stunned. I couldn't understand it and didn't feel like I would be able to write anything of worth or consolation. What can be said? So I had my sister write on my behalf and thought that would be ok. After reading all the sentiments here on this site, I realize it's not what I wrote, but that I wrote. So I'm sending this now, from my heart, just to let you know that I too was touched by Jeremy's spirit. I can not begin to comprehend what you are going through, but please know that you are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you. My deepest sympathies to you all. Jeremy will be greatly missed. Sincerely, Brenda Petzold |
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| Subject: Sorry... Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 17:27:27 EDT From: GriggDC To: ewa1@columbia.edu Ernie, We've corresponded directly and indirectly over the last five years or so. I was shocked to hear of your son's death. I know that as a parent, the death of a child is something we all fear -- and hope we never have to endure. The circumstances in this case only make things worse. I've had close friends that I had no idea suffered from clinical depression. They concealed from me and most of their other friends. One of my best friends ended his life inexplicably one morning to the shock and amazement of almost everyone that knew him. My mother was a psychiatrist and I come from a medical family. I believed for years that I had missed something that otherwise could have made a difference -- but, alas, that was incorrect. We all view the world though our own eyes with a feeling that we really can make a difference about the way others see it. I hope that you won't suffer recriminations over this tragedy. There isn't much that anyone can do in these matters. After the shock wears off, I hope you can remember the many good things about Jeremy and your time with him. It's not hard to see that he was wonderful person to have known. Steven Grigg |
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| Subject: HI Ernie Date: Thu, 9 May 2002 14:12:31 -0400 From: "JPozner" To: <ewa1@columbia.edu> HI Ernie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wrote on my cwbb post a message for you but there are so many there, I wanted to be sure you knew. Our daughter is a senior at Union College. She did not know Jeremy but she did know of him and she shared with us how sad the campus has been. We were at the campus this weekend and during a parent/student gathering, the President of the college asked us for a moment of silence for Jeremy. I wanted you to know that. Words can never express how sad I feel for you and your family . It sounds like Jeremy brought you great joy. It is obvious how proud you are of him and his incredible accomplishments. Take care and remember that Jeremy will be with you every day, especially when you sail. Sincerely, Joanie cwbb |
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| Subject: Jeremy Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 17:57:08 -0400 From: anonymous by request To: <ewa1@columbia.edu> Dear Mr. April, It was with great sadness to hear of the passing of your son, Jeremy. I had difficulty sleeping last night and logged onto the CWBB site. I have not posted there in a long time, and infrequently go there but I believe there obviously was a reason last night. I spent two hours reading all the great accomplishments of your son. I also, being a parent, read what wast not there in actual words, the devotion and love of many, many hours you and your wife have contributed to your son's accomplishments Several statements stood out, so much so that I have re-read them numerous times throughout the day. You had discussed with your children the every day pearls of life. Drugs, dating, sex, kindness to others etc. We also have done this and can only hope that in the future, our words will be appreciated and understood. I have never ever spoken to my children about suicide or depression. I really don't know why. I debated, and debated bringing this up to my daughter. After she came home from school today, I mentioned that I had sent her a link to a web site. After reading the web site, she said "that is so sad". I had to ask her "why do you think he did this"? I wanted to somehow grasp in my parents mind of why a teenager who seemed to have everything would do this, and also to possible get a better understanding from a teenagers point of view. Her response completely floored me. She said "mom, kids don't want to ask for help for depression because then they think others will think they are crazy". Could that possible be true? Do teenagers actually not want to ask for help because they think there parents will think they are mentally unbalanced? I tried to remember back to my teenage years, everything seemed so happy, but yet again, when something did come up I could not help but in my immature mind to imagine doom and failure. It is with the grace of god, luck and alot of love that we see our kids through teenage years and young adult hood. My daughter and I had a talk, for the first time about depression and how to watch for the signs, and how to ask for help. We all know in this day and age, kids have so much pressure. It made me think that maybe in my quest for a better life for my daughter, am I pressuring her? She is in the 10th grade, and will be starting the 11th grade next year. How proud I was several weeks ago when we met with her counselor to schedule her classes for next year and found out that she would be eligible for duel high school/college classes. Tomorrow, I will sit down with her and actually ask her if this is what she wants, or if she wants it because I had been so proud. I realize that I am rambling, somehow on the CWBB site, as usual Jon put it best as he said "He's out there, waiting for you......" I believe in my heart that to be true. I hope with all my heart that Jeremy has found peace in his life. That it is true that a better place is waiting for us all, and that he is smiling down upon us all, for at last he has found the peace within himself. As you go out for your next sail, feel the breeze against your face, the spray of the salt water upon you. The gentle way the boat moves at anchor, the oh so ever peaceful sunsets when darkness begins upon the water and as you look out, somehow, someway , find a little peace with yourself and begin in a slow way to think of the fond memories of your son. From the deep darkness of the night, while gazing at the stars I hope you find comfort in that you have at least helped one mother speak with her child about this. I pray for you, your wife, your son and his girlfriend and hope that in time you can sit around the cockpit and give a little laugh without it hurting so much. Thank you for your post which allowed me to discuss with my child a subject that had never been discussed. Anonymous p.s. Because of your situation, once again, as a parent I have been reminded that our kids do not see everything as we see them. I would never have imagined that my daughter
would respond in the way she did to my question. |
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Love to
the April family
Posted by Ethan on 5/16/2002, 10:31 pm Recently, the freestyle community lost a great kid in Jeremy April. He was a remarkably driven person on and off the hill. As Flapper might say, "he was a good egg." I grew up with Jeremy as an O.G. Mount Snow crew member, and although we grew apart over the years, I've still got love for him, and always have. I don't know if this is an appropriate forum for this, but I hope it reaches those who know. My love and condolences to Ernie, Nancy and Jeff.
Posted by mark on 5/20/2002, 10:02 pm , in reply to "Love to the April family" I'll second that. I can't claim to really know Jeremy
April, but I saw his spirit shine brightly many days on
the glacier at Blackcomb. It was shocking news about his
death. The freestyle community, and all those affected by
that community have lost another bright star. May he rest
in peace. Condolences to those who love him. -mark- |
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| Subject: Jeremy Date: Wed, 15 May 2002 15:12:31 EDT From: StevensEC To: ewa1@columbia.edu Dear April Family, Since learning about the loss of Jeremy from my daughter, Chelsi, a Union College student, you have been in my thoughts and prayers. From one parent to another, I mourn the loss of your wonderful child and extend my deepest sympathy. Peace Be With You. Sincerely, Karen Stevens |
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| Subject: RE: Mt. Snow team -- Loon Mountain Date: Thu, 16 May 2002 17:18:56 -0400 From: "Lisa Yourman" To: "EW April" <ewa1@columbia.edu> Hi, It has taken me a little longer than I had wanted to sit down and write you a short note. I had just returned with Sarah from a two week stint at Morristown Memorial Hospital because of a serous lung infection on Friday (visiting hours) only to find out in my email of your terrible loss. Although I did not know your son or family very well, we have, through our own experiences found close comfort in the freestyle community. Sarah told me a story about running into Jeremy in the ski club last year where he almost tripped over her and he said "excuse me 'little one'". This is what Sarah remembers of Jeremy . . .a brush that will live with her forever. I know his life and achievements will be long remembered. I wish to ask you if we may dedicate Sarah's website in memory of Jeremy. Her website is www.sarahyourman.com I know that the contributions to Columbia will help youths around the area. The doctors at Columbia are wonderful. You are a remarkable family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Regards, Lisa Yourman |
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| Date: Sun, 14 Jul 2002 15:01:42 -0400 From: Patrick Kenney To: ewa1@columbia.edu Dear Dr. April - ... please accept my most heart-felt condolences on the loss of your son, Jeremy.... I found great comfort in a passage that an acquaintance shared with me after September 11th....Certainly, no words can lessen your grief but perhaps they will provide some measure of comfort. With sympathy, Patrick
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Subject: Jeremy
Sincerely, |
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Subject: Jeremy |
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Subject: My Tribute to Jeremy:
On The Wing Download On The Wing MP3 at http://artists.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Mikey_Smith/ |
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Send e-mail for posting here to ewa1@columbia.edu |
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Sound Track: Mike Smith - Tribute to Jeremy: On The Wing